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Chrissy Teigen Penned Down Most Emotional Essay On Loss Of Her Third Child

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend recently shared very unfortunate news with the world about the loss of their third baby that they were expecting. The condition of the baby was not fine as Chrissy was facing some major Placental issues and she had to induce the labor of her stillborn son Jack.

 As soon as the news surfaced on the internet, everyone went to support the celebrity on her social media accounts including many celebrities. But after some time of the announcement, some people also criticized her for posting the images that she might have not taken or shared publically.

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Image Credits: Chrissy Teigen Instagram

Almost after one month, Chrissy Teigen has opened up about how her loss made her feel and how she is coping with the loss now. The whole essay was posted on Medium which was about an eight minutes read.  

Starting the essay Chrissy said: 

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“I had no idea when I would be ready to write this. Part of me thought it would be early on when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened. I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I’d have a glass of red wine, cozy up with a blanket, and finally, get the chance to address “what happened”.

Instead, I’m writing from the downstairs couch, still cozied up in a blanket but buzzing from a morning of friends and fried chicken.

Image Credits: Chrissy Teigen Instagram

She mentioned whilst continuing her message that she had been through all the messages that she was receiving from the past month from many fans who started the message with “You might not read this”, and she assured that she read every message that was sent to her.

Whilst explaining how difficult it was to be in the hospital and hear people celebrating the new life that just arrived. Because they knew they were there to welcome the fifth member of their family but only to say goodbye to him. 

“One of the standout moments from that morning (or evening? I have no idea) was me going through the halls of labor and delivery, and John saying “What is there a fucking party going on here??” Here we were, just wheeled down to a new floor, I covered in a thin blanket to hide, knowing I was about to fully deliver what was supposed to be the 5th member of our beautiful family, a son, only to say goodbye moments later. People cheered and laughed right outside our door, understandably for a new life born and celebrated. You kind of wonder how anyone is thinking about anyone but you.”

Chrissy always had placental issues with her previous labors, but this time it was just not something that she could fight for

“My doctors diagnosed me with partial placenta abruption. I had always had placenta problems. I had to deliver Miles a month early because his stomach wasn’t getting enough food from my placenta. But this was my first abruption.”

Image Credits: Chrissy Teigen Instagram

She further wrote:

“After a couple of nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either. We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all. Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full-blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”

Whilst addressing the negative comments that people made about her taking the pictures of the whole scenario rather than being in the moment, she opened up about it that it was her son she was losing and she wanted to remember him always despite it being the most bitter moment, she wanted to remember this moment and him forever.

“I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.

Chrissy said that she hardly cares what others think. She took the pictures and she posted them for others who were suffering from the same pain or have suffered earlier and they needed to know that they were not alone. She also mentioned that as she was a known celebrity, people reached out to him and poured love and power onto her with their messages, but hardly every other woman will get this treatment from the public and they have to suffer alone unlikely her who had a massive support system to go through this all.

Image Credits: Chrissy Teigen Instagram

“My mom, John, and I each held him and said our own private goodbyes, mom sobbing through Thai prayer. I asked the nurses to show me his hands and feet and I kissed them over and over and over again. I have no idea when I stopped. It could have been 10 minutes or an hour.”

“I dunno how long he had been waiting to be delivered for. That will probably always haunt me. Just writing it makes my nose and eyes tingle with tears. All I know now is his ashes are in a small box, waiting to be put into the soil of a tree in our new home, the one we got with his room in mind.”

After this, she penned down few other paragraphs explaining her experience after the loss and how people made her feel better and how she was feeling full rather than being empty and does not want people to feel like they cannot share their happy moments with her because she has been through a lot. In the end, she thanked everybody and told them how she wanted to share this with the world to move on from this moment and requested everyone to share their pain openly and for others to be kind towards those who are suffering a loss. 

“I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so. Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.”

Image Credits: Chrissy Teigen Instagram

Well, this piece of writing was really heartbreaking but we are really pleased that Chrissy has penned down her experience. Though this gave us shivers and made us cry, it will motivate and help many couples who are currently suffering the same loss.

We wish Chrissy loads of fun and loving memories that last forever with John, Luna, and Miles and for her to be assured that Jack is somewhere safe and happy and they will reunite one day again. 

 

"The only thing sweeter than union is reunion"

Kathleen McGowan

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